Beware the Viridian Panther

Thirty Days of Writing 16/30: beginning, accusation, restless, snowflake, haze, flame, formal, companion, move, silver, prepared, knowledge, denial, wind, order, THANKS. look. summer. transformation. tremble. sunset. mad. thousand. outside. winter. diamond. letters. promise. simple. future.

Author’s note: Because I quite like spicyshimmy’s theory that Kaidan is getting progressively more drunk throughout ME3. And I cringed at the ‘quickening’ line too. And I bet Sbarge realised its ridiculousness and tried to ham it up as much as he could, à la “you big stupid jellyfish!”

“Can you feel it, Shepard? The quickening?” Kaidan sucked in a shaky, unusually forced breath. “Illusive Man better say his prayers tonight.”

Shepard put out an arm to steady him, grasping Kaidan by the shoulder and supporting him against the glass of the outside window.

“Are you drunk?”

He snorted, standing upright and leaning back a little into Shepard’s hold. “Huh. Yeah… I suppose.”

Shepard helped him over to the couch, slouching him as vertically as he could and placing his hand on Kaidan’s back.

“Tali and I were just discussing Miranda,” he slurred.

“Ah.” Tali, who was now exceptionally drunk. Turian brandy, triple-filtered, fed into the environment suit through an ‘emergency induction port.’

“Apparently she wore nothing but a catsuit when she was on shore parties.”

“A catsuit and a kinetic barrier.” Shepard had never had the guts to ask her why—if the barrier had failed, she’d have been peppered with more holes than Swiss cheese by the time they’d left Freedom’s Progress.

“She sure… uh…” Kaidan whispered, resting his cheek against Shepard’s shoulder, “used her assets well.”

Was that a clumsily-veiled reference to Miranda’s ass? God, he really is drunk.

“You should get some rest, Kaidan,” Shepard whispered, kissing his scalp through the hair and smelling asari honey mead. “I can’t have you drinking yourself silly. Not right now.”

“What about Tali?”

“She’s still at it.” Emergency induction port. All they needed now to complete the set was for Joker to pass out on the opposite observation deck, having lost another of his shirts to James.

Kaidan sighed, and nuzzled further into Shepard’s neck. “Sorry, Shepard. I’m feeling a bit… got a lot of stuff on my plate.”

Shepard rubbed his neck, and hooked an arm round Kaidan, kissing him again. “Tell me about it.”

“Yeah.” He lifted his nose a little and kissed Shepard on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Any time.”

Both of them had fallen asleep within ten minutes.